I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize