Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
