I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
