O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize