is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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