My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
