How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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