Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
