hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
