I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
