She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize