Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
