Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
