it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
