PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
