Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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