The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
