You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
