If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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