so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
