At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
