this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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