Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize