hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
