She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
