i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
