I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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