she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
