Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize