Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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