Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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