about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
