He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
