so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
