My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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