i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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