2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
