A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
