I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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