I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
