I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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