I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize