I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
