Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
