none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I bet he comes in French.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
