i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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