If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize