She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
did i walk over a car last night?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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