when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
