I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
