Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she peed on how many people?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
