I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
