One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
