1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize