How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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