White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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