I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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