I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
