Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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