I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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