so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
one might say we're banned from that church
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize