Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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