she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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