WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
